If you did not grow up with parents, “parents” can be replaced by “caregivers”, “grandparents”, “mom” etc. The most influential time is from 0-7 years old, so concentrate on this life span when answering the questions. I’ve done years of deep inner work and self study to analyse childhood trauma symptoms in adults and I put together 10 questions that will help you get a clear picture of your or your loved one’s childhood conditioning.Ĭhildhood Trauma Symptoms Analysis (10 Questions) For that you don’t have to be a psychologist or go looking for therapy, you can ask simple questions that relate to what we as humans need to feel good. But in order to heal it is important to understand what happened in childhood – otherwise you will never get a complete picture of yourself. I believe they did the best they could with what they had and that they came a long way from how they themselves had grown up. This led me down the path of understanding how I was creating my own unfulfilling reality – through negative beliefs and social conditioning which came from childhood. I pretty soon realised however that the problem was not depression (and this diagonals is another topic altogether) but that my emotional, spiritual and physical needs where not being fulfilled – mainly of closeness, belonging and safety. As part of a middle class family I was convinced that I had quite a good upbringing, especially because my parents put an emphasis on providing me with a very good education.īut in my teenage and young adult years my life was defined by emotional rollercoasters which led me to thinking I had depression and seeking help with therapists. Where I grew up in Germany trauma was thought to be something that only kids born into poor, uneducated or violent families experienced.
This is very generalised and simplified to help you understand but usually there is a mix of those types of traumas in most families. This means that children are not allowed to be autonomous beings, for example the parents want to determine which life path the children walk and there is a lot of control and pressure through guilt and shame. In more southern cultures, children tend to experience traumas around enmeshment, which is created by a lack of boundaries between family members. This is because people tend to be cold towards each other which leads to children being starved of emotional and physical closeness (lack of being soothed, getting hugs, showing emotions). It is trauma by emotional neglect and abandonment. And this is actually the majority of trauma that we are seeing in Western countries. Simultaneously people could be heavily traumatised by feeling pushed away or not seen by their parents without ever something physically painful happening to them. People could experience car accidents or violent crimes and not develop trauma if they are able to resolve the distress that was created by the event. This means that the intensity of the situation is less important than how the person is able to deal with it. Simply put, trauma occurs when there is distress without resolve. I will explain these dynamics in detail further in this blog but let’s first look into what trauma actually is. Interpret your partners actions through a lens of negative beliefsīe constantly emotionally triggered making the relationship a very stressful place for both partners involved If you’re carrying a lot of emotional baggage around you will: But before we get into it, let’s understand why healing our childhood wounds is so essential for conscious relating. Are you wondering if you or your loved one is suffering from childhood trauma symptoms? Childhood trauma is not something I ever thought I had – up until 5 years ago, when I learned what trauma actually is.
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